::*~Wint3rDreamz~*:: - Enigma of a thousand flowers

Sunday, July 08, 2007

cycling today's postponed
cuz it rained.

spent e day riding on mrt/bus n bowling
with ailin n her frens

was helping mom with stuffs up till now
n throughout e evenin im thinking bout sth

NYT.

besides overseas comp opportunities n free lanes/cards/pellets
wat else will make me wanna stay?

e tot of abel asking jp whether he should quit nyt anot cuz prem suggested so
was bugging me into these tots today

a good coach.. made lots of frens...
a few more good pts

but...
cuz of nyt.. i couldnt train with my apg
cuz of nyt.. i cant really train in sch which is much warmer(not only literally) than training at safra
cuz of nyt.. i think tt i couldnt improve much

well... i duno wat to say
actually nyt's not tt bad
just tt... cuz i crashed?

it's unfair to judge nyt this way
does tt mean tt if i have shot well during nats
i wouldve loved nyt a bit more?

this is crap.. im being irrational again

but e emotional comfort im going to get when im training in sch is gonna be much much more
(i guess.. cuz i have not really trained in nj b4)
not being able to train with ur own team is a sad thing
cuz u wun be able to feel tt 'we r improving tgt' tt feeling

n e possibility tt im going to be e only njcian left in nyt
somehow made me feel worse

training alone is really a bad feeling
though there r ppl around
but either they dun shoot e same weap as u
or they r only casual frens

so perhaps this led me to another option:
to stay in nyt but to train in sch like isaac n daniel

e bad pt bout tt is tt u have to be ok with using 2 diff guns
if u cant... troubles will arise

hmm....so how?
i really duno wat to do
well seasa first... den decide ba

wint3rdreamz@12:48 AM
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