::*~Wint3rDreamz~*:: - Enigma of a thousand flowers

Saturday, February 28, 2009

a midnight chat with woman agn.

and i know he's not the kind of man she wants.

knew it long ago, but plunged in nevertheless.

silly?
or m i confident enough to be able to convince?

time will tell. but what if everything fails?

does she love me enough to accept whoever i love,
or does she love me enough to object what she thinks will be an unhappy ending for me?

actually within myself, i noe im not confident either, of an happy ending.
not his fault, but mine.

wint3rdreamz@1:59 AM
------

Thursday, February 26, 2009

i've been lazy, quite lazy indeed.

kinda neglect here. actually no oso, i frequent this page, reading the same post agn n agn haha.

yay taking leave tmr (thurs)
for apg, for club, for a break, for a moment to slow down, for reminisce sake, for a good catching up with everyone.
no more rushing into safra for a lane and a proper trng session. no more leaving in a hurry, not able to even have a good chat with the shooters there.
for one day.
and a stay-up for once in a wkday, not worrying bout dozing off during work tmr which is so unbearable.
wah, the impact of an one day leave. LOL

some highlights of the dayss;
badminton with shooters at ngeeann poly last tues
pink panther 2 on sat with bdad (omg damm freaking funny the show) on sat
metro lions dinner/bod at suntec (an eyeopener i muz say) on tues

short. but not sweet (i noe haha)

i find myself getting abit too jumpy these few days.
for one, i dun walk when im supposed to be walking;
i find myself hopping instead.
having too many post-a's temps in the same office is a bad thing
u wun be spared of being reminded of wat is going to happen nxt fri (most probably)
n to mention stupid mistakes like doing 2 essays for econs p2 adds on to the intense feelings. [but i did tt just to shut them up, they who keep thinkin tt i'll score quite well and tt i shldnt be worrying]

zona n tianying were thinkin bout only taking half day off only, so tt they can keep themselves occupied (with work, wth?) in the morning.
think i shld sweat it out then, a jog, a tennis session, bball or watever. shall we take a full day leave n meet in nj in the morning, frens? :D
den i dun nid to bring a sponge; i'll satisfy my squeezing tendencies by squeezing sweat out of my drenched shirt aft the activities.

aww. a bad thing to mention about now. i needa slp argh.
maybe i'll just faint, a faster approach to ko myself.
will update next time.

wint3rdreamz@12:38 AM
------

Saturday, February 14, 2009

the week has been alright with work n trng
thurs out with shooters for dinner n pool
pwned zr ;)
who insisted tt he just tend to lose to gals duno y, sth bout not able to unleash his true skill and being nice
WAtEVEr haha

[today]

feb monthly-
backkk on standard haha
nt exactly but closeR
90 89 91 92 (sequence mite be wrong) 362

alot of 10s! but more 8s n a 7 Xl
10s are achieved by either:
-hold on to aiming stable n trigger
-allow trigger to go off on its own
each has its own advantage n disadvantages; i cant decide which is The way
thou coachfan says the latter should be way for me.
but i guess the key factors of making either ways to become a gd shot are:
-small 'floating' area
-follow through
perhaps the ability to noe when triggering will occur will help too :D

i realised wat i mentioned are actually repeats
they r found in my shooting journal yea, records during trng n stuff
muz learn to be able to apply wat was learnt, hard to but will make it happen :)

aka. more trng needed!

out w b.dad :DD
Valkyrie 's kinda interesting
miss these kind of plot-y shows like ocean-series haha

got the book i wanted, thx to his slightly-better-memory (than mine haha)

and the bus ride home

in short, enjoyable :)
but i guess i suaned him abit too much XD

v day with the 2 loves of my life, as joe reminded haha
;D

Labels: comp

wint3rdreamz@11:42 PM
------

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

i've been trying to finish this interesting book tt i've borrowed like 2 mths ago (omg the amt of fines i'll have to pay >.<)
im only at chapt 3 and it's really the kind of book i've been looking for. to confirm some of my ideas i have regarding ppl's tots and stuff.
i guess i'll return it first, and try to buy the book instead :D

so if anyone happens to see this book in any bookstore pleaseeee tell me
amindofitsown - howyourbraindistortsanddeceives
by CordeliaFine

quoting 2 parts from chapt 3-the immoral brain

" the immoral brain ... also competently assists in maintaining that all-important sense of moral superiority. as the brain plays amateur psychologist, speculating as to the reasons and explanations behind why people behave as they do, it is careful to apply double standards whenever necessary. we are, for example, quick to call upon people's personalities as a way of explaining their slipups. while at first glance this might seem reasonable, now try considering how often you prefer to make specific excuses for your own behavior when it falls below par. you're never late on your deadlines because you're inconsiderate and disorganised--it's just that other unexpected and pressing matters arose. you're not ratty and rude--only saints don't occasionally snap at their partner after a long and tiring day. ... when your conduct falls short of your intentions, calling upon mitigating circumstances keeps you safe from the uncomfortable conclusion that you might really be incompetent, unkind, or uncharitable.
do we bother to extend to others the same benefit of the doubt? no. when we muse upon shortcomings in our own conduct, it's obvious that our troubling circumstances conspired to hide out true potential, our good character, and our virtuous intent. but we are strangely blind to how the subtleties of other people's situations might affect them. our sensitivity to the context, so sharply tuned when we apply it to ourselves, becomes sloppy and careless when we focus on others. to our neglectful eye, what other people do reflects what kind of person they are; simple as that. ... our own cargos are delayed in the choppy seas of circumstances. other people's ships sail into harbor late because of their dillydallying."

" our indulgent self-approbation, together with our belittlingly imprecise estimations of others, leaves pretty well all of us with the pleasant, though misguided, sense of being holier than thou. yet in truth, the manipulations of social psychologists show that our moral backbone can be snapped like the flimsiest reed. one of the psychology's most famous landmarks, the Milgram obedience studies, exposed just how powerful social situations are in controlling our behaviour. in the original Milgram obedience study, forty ordinary and presumably decent men (teachers, engineers and laborers, for example) were recruited to take part in a study of memory and learning at Yale University. the cover story was that, together with another participant, they would be taking the role of either teacher or learner in an experiment designed to look at the effects of punishment on learning. in the rigged tandom draw, the unsuspecting man was deputed to be the teacher. the other participant (a pleasant-mannered stooge) drew the role of learner.
...first, the stooge was strapped into an electric chair...and electrode paste was applied beneath the electrodes that were attached to the learner's wrists... the real participant, brought into a different room, meanwhile learned that, as the teacher, his job was to deliver increasingly powerful electric shocks whenever the learner made a mistake on a word pair learning task. the sham electric shock generator...included a panel with thirty switches labeled from 15 to 450 volts, in 15-volt increments. ...
the scene set, it time for the learning experiment to begin. the teacher was told to move the switch up 15 volts every time the learner made a mistake. at 300 volts the learner pounded audibly on the wall of his experimental prison and made no response to the teacher's question. generally the teacher would ask the experimenter what to do at this point, to which the experimenter would reply that he should treat the absence of a response as a wrong answer, and to increase the shock level by another 15 volts. there was another desperate banging on the wall at 315 volts, and from then on there was nothing but sinister silence from the learner--not even the reassurance of a frenzied hammering. back to the other side, the teacher participants showed signs of extreme agitation: sweating profusely, trembling, stuttering, biting their lips, groaning, digging fingernails into their flesh. some men even began to smile and laugh nervously--uncontrollably so, in three cases. many of the participants questioned the experimenter about whether they should continue or expressed concern for the damage that they might be doing to the learner. in response to their anxieties, the experimenter politely, but increasingly firmly, responded that they should continue.
what Milgram famously 9and repeatedly) found is that about two-thirds of ordinary men (and women) will obediently electrocute a fellow human being, all the way up to a highly dangerous 450 volts, because a scientist in a lab coat tells them to do so. and nearly 90 percent of the participants in the original experiement administered at least one more shock beofre hearing the learner pound on the wall. the experimenter had no special power to enforce his strictures to continue. nor would the men have been punished in any way for defying the experimenter. yet despite the clear signs that the learner was suffering against his wall, the authority of the situation was too much for most people to withstand. the majority of participants broke the simple moral tenet, learned at mother's knee, not to hurt other people."

pardon the long post. haha

wint3rdreamz@1:07 AM
------