::*~Wint3rDreamz~*:: - Enigma of a thousand flowers

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

die le die le..
still got 2 1/2 major chapts of BIO not covered yet
tmr last paper le yay! (not considering mt haha Xp)

congrats to andy, xuyang n yixin!
national 6th, zonal 2nd
u boys rock!

duno how e ai boys r doin..
hope theyve done well too! :)

all e best for e b girls tmr
i gotta jiayou too for tmr..
haha..

wint3rdreamz@8:37 PM
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Tuesday, June 26, 2007

finally a break
only 2 days have past n it felt like a whole week
it's only 2 days n i alrdy had 4 papers
it's tough.. really tough
to reach home at 7+ to revise for 2 papers for e next day
n it seems tt all wat i have studied
r certainly not enough
not enough to even pass.. i guess.

mon: econs n gp
well.. i muz admit tt econs is not that hard
except for case study which i would have done better if i have a larger memory space
i stunned at even simple qns like: wat is economies of scale?
when one can ans easily rite from e notes
essay's ok.. just tt i was so slack (somehow duno y when i did know tt im goin to have severe short of time anw)
tt i couldnt even complete one third of a fifteen mark qn
essay for gp's ok... at least not as scary as i tot
my worse case scenario was lookin at all 11 qns n not being able to ans any one of em
but i can really feel tt severe lack of vocab im havin now
somehow just couldnt think of more than 2 words to express an idea
n in argumentative sometimes u really nid to keep repeatin e idea to keep e essay cohesive
compre was weird... seems like i noe e ans but actually it mite not seems tt way
ans tt i had given r like those which r apparently linked to e passage n qn but it mite be totally out of pt after all..

today: math n chem
wa haha.. nv had a more difficult math paper than this
all i did was: skip skip skip
skip to e last qn den skip back to e front ones
e only qn i think i can score full is only qn 1, e matrix one
lol...
somehow at some parts can ans qn halfway realise ans wrongly or not solvin wat e qn ask for
haha...so muddle headed
chem's de worse man
even chem's calculations which is e only thing im fully confident with failed me today
i can work out e soln halfway n realise tt e vol/mass/watever is even more than e total value
e worsee thing is tt i had no time to sort it out rite
left e last 1 or 2 pages blank ba
sth constant for today: total of bout 30 marks worth of qns left BLANK

luckily tmr got no paper
can rest for a while b4 muggin bio
can slp abit later today
haha

went off to safra today wanting to train after stoppin for like 3 days
but it was alrdy 7.30 n only when i reached den i noe e range will be closed from 7.30 onwards in preparation for tmr's nationals
sigh i really wanna shot!!
haha den tmr cannot train oso
cuz nid to mug for bio
chem today scared me.. i really couldnt afford to slack in studyin for my bio now

anyway still stayed at safra for awhile since my juniors r there
talked to ruijie, ronald n john
n they told me they went to si ma lu to bai bai for e shooters today
omg gan dong gan dong
all e way down there just to pray for them
n it's e first time i heard this too
haha...

well tmr b div rifle boys shooting tmr
njc, ai n e ssa(nyt n ntt) b boys all jiayou! :D

wint3rdreamz@10:56 PM
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Saturday, June 23, 2007

wa haha..im blogging again
usually dun blog so much
but perhaps long hours of mugging bores me sometimes

today's more or less e same
mug mug mug.
din go for training though i have promised myself to
cuz prem told us to take a break
but eh..i have not been training everyday n im not going to train on sun n mon
so ehh...*feeling bad*

e new lift outside my house's rdy for use!
haha dun nid to go all e way to e other side to take e lift anymore..

well was sort of forced to think bout this again
(though it was done rather unintentionally)

''I thought it was too good to be true
I found somebody who understands me
someone who would help me to get through
and fill an emptiness i had inside me
but you kept inside and I just denied
some things that we should have both said
I knew it was too good to be true
cause i'm the only one who understands me

what happened to us
we used to be so perfect, now were lost and lonely
what happened to us
I know deep inside I worry did i lose my only?

remember they thought we were too young
to really know what it takes to make it
but we had survived off what we have done
and we could show them all that they're mistaken
but who could have known the lies that would grow
until we could see right through them
remember they knew it we were too young
we still don't know what it takes to make it

what happened to us

we used to be so perfect, now were lost and lonely

what happened to us
I know deep inside I worry did i lose my only one?

We could have made it work, we could have found a way,
we should have done our best to see another day
but we kept it all inside until it was too late
and now we're both alone, the consequence we pay
for throwing it all away, for throwing it all away...''

this is part of e lyrics of What Happened to Us by Hoobastank
(haha sorry charsiewbao pls dun sue me for violating ur copyrights)
i was reminded..n i went back to look at my past entries..lol.

well...silent breakup does hurt
perhaps more than normal ones?

wint3rdreamz@7:50 PM
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cant believe it
i have finished reading through my chem
haha...but tt excludes practising
duhh..leave tt till next mon ba
><

currently trying to find peace in my chaotic environment
sigh.

i admit im abit too much le ba
e 2 person i mentioned previously r actually not tt bad ba
it's just tt i only cared to look at e bad pts
which is sth tt i should nv do
cuz it'll only hurt other ppl n hurt myself too
dui bu qi.

shot a one-shot-per-card comp today
357: 91 90 90 86
sigh..think my standards drop back to 35 le ba
since im still gettin 35s though i can get 36s at times
duno wassup with me..
my finger just refuses to budge
grr...n resulted in keep firing at e wrong time
i was ok at sighters..den when i started at my first shot my finger suddenly frozen
zhe3 me4 gao3 de? din shoot comp for too long?

received the detailing list for nationals le
haha..
this yr's detailing's.. weird.
so this time round there wun only be considerations of who take which lane
but oso who go first or later...
lol.

everyone jiayou ok?
for ct, for nationals :)

wint3rdreamz@1:53 AM
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Thursday, June 21, 2007

ok...a break from all e confusing math ><

so far so good. i think my study pace is going on ok
but that doesnt mean much
if i cant get e stuffs in...
or couldnt get e stuffs out (during exams)
all e efforts will be futile isnt it?
sigh.

i admit the topics in jc are quite interesting (except for the languages haha)
but it's v tough to get it in too x.x

well.. received a call from mreddielim
so when i replied tt i dun have exams during 2nd half of august
it means that im going to seasa, for sure?
or is he merely asking around?
well let's assume that i am going :D

spent about half an hour thinking bout this trip (ah my precious mugging time :(
quite excited to noe who's going..esp the little rifle gals n the pistol boys (or gays?haha)..n if anyone from njcsc will be going with me :)
but to my anguish (haha), abel's so-called lover (whose name coincidentally starts with A) is going too :((
recalling the last overseas trip with her to darwin for arafura, i couldnt help it but to sigh n shake my head
on thinking bout tt, i think i should make myself clear to her next time
im still on rather ok terms with her
but i feel like im a hypocrite..talking n smiling to her when in my heart i noe that i dun like her
like abel said: y should i bother to be nice to someone i dun like?
when i reflected that it wasnt v nice of him to change lanes away from her (right in front of her lol) when joanne n me sort of forced him to take up e lane beside her Xp
hmm so when i get e chance, im going to tell her how i feel bout her..n how she is going to respond (by telling her mom or watever) is not goin to be my business.

honestly if i myself do piss ppl off like she does..i would like to hear from everyone
den at least i have an idea bout my social skills n if it's really bad..
i'll give myself a chance to change

ok another half an hour wasted
gonna go back to my muggerisation (lol) le...

ps. hope that most ppl when went to arafura r going for seasa :DD

wint3rdreamz@3:56 PM
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Tuesday, June 19, 2007

` silent says:
hey do u noe wat is tested for all e subs?
` silent says:
as in till wat chapt
[c=6]--weining--[/c] says:
YUP
[c=6]--weining--[/c] says:
chem: all until chem energetics
[c=6]--weining--[/c] says:
include kinetics
[c=6]--weining--[/c] says:
bio: until evolution
[c=6]--weining--[/c] says:
math: until tangents and normals
[c=6]--weining--[/c] says:
econs: until 3.1
[c=6]--weining--[/c] says:
tts all

:DD

wint3rdreamz@7:20 PM
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perhaps divorce is the only way.
im not sad haha
just feels...weird ba
about 21 yrs le...felt a bit wasted
but im not sad
cuz if im her i wouldve ditched such a husband long time ago
divorce's on the way...but not now i suppose
got lots of stuffs to settle with him before he can get away
let's c how he's going to survive without her
let's c...in time...

ps. haha din post wat i said i'll post but well, not in e mood to post further.

wint3rdreamz@12:08 AM
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Saturday, June 16, 2007

this is damn screwed up..badly

training camp ended not long ago
basically it wasnt a v good experience for me
though i get to c e club ppl around more
got to train more
but e pt is i dun get to study n got to train n slack alot
[seriously, my arm is aching]
so i have decided to take a break today
though prem says it's best if we could train everyday
but i guess a break in a while is ok isnt it?

too many things is going on at the same time le
nationals, common test, amazing race project, pw
somemore my workload at home din really decrease though mom stopped working for auntie kelly

i guess i owe my pw group an apology
for my stupid inactiveness esp during this week

gonna mug like hell
real soon

but no matter wat...everything's gonna be alrite
i guess

wint3rdreamz@10:39 AM
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Thursday, June 07, 2007

prize ceremony today was fast
got to go back to sch even b4 e event ends
n i got this feeling of unjust within me during e ceremony

it's my fault...it's my fault... :(

now tt nationals have finally ended
it's time for myself to really start reflecting upon myself
not only bout shooting.. it's bout studies too

woah to think of it.. i kinda suck :((
[for ppl who noe tt i dun like to use even e slightest vulgar words..pardon me for using it once, on myself]

well im not going to just tell myself tt n tt's it
it's bout standing up again after falling isn't it?
im brought myself to this test, being too proud n arrogant
n so im going to get through this.. n to prove to myself n everyone tt i can stand up again

one yr.. i shall give myself
by next yr everyone will c e better me
in shooting, in studies n oso in character too

n yea... <3 to njcsc :D
especially...haha shant say especially le.. cuz mr lee says so
lol jk :)

wonder how e club is going to go on without u man
but u have alrdy set e foundation n it's time for e students to take up e challenge ba
mr lee u rox!

wint3rdreamz@11:59 PM
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Sunday, June 03, 2007

went training yesterday
realised tt im kinda resistant to coach z

i really duno wat to say
she became so wary..so careful of other ppl
i just cant believe tt she tried to chase me out of e sch range just becuz im now under another coach n dun wan me to listen to wat she teaches her students
o well i din care tt much up till recently n i duno y
i was only stoning down there enjoying e aircon after running for 6 rounds
well watever
no matter wat...i m not goin to care how she treat me.. i still respect her as a coach who used to teach me how to shoot rifle years ago..
but she arent gonna stop me from helping my juniors cuz she just isnt paying enough attention to em
im not trying to snatch any fame from her... i can let em say tt it's her who has been coaching em all along if they shoot damn well during nationals (which i strongly believe they will)
e main purpose is still their scores...tt's all i wanted out of em
i admit i do not really like her
i rmb how happy i was cuz she never got to beat coach f
haha *evil grin*
i also admit how i used to like her...admire her as e coach who had brought up many good shooters (esp from ai *grins*)
but perhaps the politics in the coaching arena has changed her
to become like this
all e best... though being a coach is someone who can influence ppl and lead them to perform well
but being a coach also muz have e generosity, e fact tt coaching should be outspread n not selfish n confined.

if anyone would to ask me who contributes to my achievements in shooting (though not tt great)
, i would not have a definite ans
from coach z, coach li(who has passed away), coach gai, e 2 coaches under coach z, mr e lim, coach f, prem..
to my clubmates, my teammates, my tic-s...
anyone who would somehow drop a hint tt there's sth i can improve even without em noticing...
those whom im trying to spot mistakes n good pts from..which in turn makes me realise what i have done wrong n wat i should have done to make it rite..
thx everyone... u have been great coaches in one way or another...

im still stuck at trigo... which is like e first chapt of maths
argh ><

nusis this week
aim to get 370
tt is, if im shooting
x.x

wint3rdreamz@8:37 PM
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