::*~Wint3rDreamz~*:: - Enigma of a thousand flowers

Friday, October 05, 2007

apparently my internet hates me..alot
think it had DC-ed n AC-ed for more than 5 times today
it's tt bloody wireless thingy my bro installed into my com
so that it'll his main com tt holds e router, not mine :(

well at least it's obedient for the time being

alright, have been training these 2 days :))
it's really great (eh not the performance, but to hold up my pistol tt shoots out pellets :)...tt's great enough)
n have been talking to some of the ppl there
made me understood things tt i had not been able to

firstly it's my coach
i talked to her bout performance n stuff, and asked her if i were to crash horribly for months wat would she do
well...her ans gave me the conclusion tt when u r at ur downs, dun totally depend on ur coaches to pull u back
cuz it's ur performance, u r responsible for it
a coach can only stand at the side, giving u reminders and tips to help u on ur way
but in the end if u were to fall, it'll be up to u to pick up on ur own

yea i dread falling (tt's y i asked bout tt), n i had tot nationals was a great fall for me but in the end it's nth at all compared to others
i tot i have failed, so i decided to start anew,
n well..i got back to my standard shortly after
it's really...nth...compared to others...im feel like a ding li zi wa

secondly..it's mr eddie lim (thurs)
hmm i must admit i was abit harsh to him when i started to talk to him (sorry sorry n.n)
cuz i was abit well...not happy tt he din send any pistol boys to shoot the upcoming comp in australia
i was thinking... it's not like there isnt any place, since it;s vacant y not let any 3 go rather than none?
i have asked him tt question on wed
n he replied tt: hit only 527 u think i can send?
in addition..i was thinking bout the ntt selection issue on the forum
and the condition he had given to abel n mark n perhaps isaac?
another guy has alrdy stopped training...duno cuz he gave up or he's bz
n yea...so all this added up to the unhappiness i had with him as the head of nyt
but after talking to him it just felt different
the thing bout duties n responsibilities, not only applies to shooters, it also applies to team managers too
he seemed to noe im unhappy; thus he said: not tt i dun wanna send em, but if anyone happened to ask y, how m i going to ans?
i still have doubts bout the first part
but i must noe tt team managers have a great responsibility too
not to himself, but to the superiors n (perhaps) other shooters in sg
n as he is not able to understand every single member of the team, performance is the only gauge he has

all these made me realise sth else too
tt it's really hard to stand in everyone's shoes (though im really trying, tt's y i talked to them in the first place)
n it's harder to make everyone happy

cant go training today i guess
got to "tutor" monkey after sch
tt is, if im not going to be the one scratching my head, not able to come up with the solution Xl
n i have chinese consolidation n pw meet-the-teacher session tmr! :(

wint3rdreamz@2:19 AM
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